Great Itachi, hurray
by zooki
Summary: Sasuke leaves Konoha, and we get to see his version of it. Then he meets Itachi, and he tag along. They visit Oro, gets Itachi a new bunny, and then they end up in the Sand Village.
1. You killed Cookies!

In this moment Sasuke is on his way to Orochimaru.

"Aaah listen to the nice sounds from Konoha.. Oh crap, is that Sakuras voice?

Oh yeah, I must prepare myself for the suffering." Sasuke thought, while starting to tremble.

"Hi Sasuke-kun, where are you going my love?" Sakura smirked.

"Can I come? Please, please, please, please Sasuke?"

"Uh... NO." I said and looked at her.

"Why? Why? Please, please Sasuke"

If I had a piece of wood, I sure would hit her in the head. Hmm her smirk, her pink hair, and the way she calls out my name.

Geez, it makes me so tired. I'd rather be stuck with that stupid kid, that brown head, Kono something. Nevermind...

Maybe I can use my shoe? Oh great a twig of the tree fell down and knocked her unconscious.

Must be my lucky day hum hum...

Better get going before that pink haired chick wakes up, what's up with pink hair anyway?

Ah great, there are those geeks from earlier. The people with the stupid black patterns, great.

"Good evening Sasuke-kun" The big guy smiled.

"Uhm... Hai dude" Dude wow was that really the best word I could come up with? Uhm well yea, the only other suggestions were baka, dobe, dumbass... Ok maybe dude wasn't such a bad choice.

Wouldn't want to piss them off already. Yeayea whatever... Yawn...

Hey Sasuke-kun! You want a cool box that will make that seal of yours become cooler? You will have to stay in there for some while though.

Ah great, I'll get a free lift to Oro's place. Sweet.

"Yea sure dude."

Great I'm in a box, kinda nice, warm and cozy. ZzzZZzzzzzz..

A little later..

Woow what the hell is happening out there?

Is that weird chick playing her flute again? Gosh I wish I were allowed to beat her up.

Maybe I should stick my head out and look? Or wait I'll just peek first.

Oh my God, it's Shika. That guy that passed the exams. Hm I kinda like him, hes always just sitting there and saying "how troublesome" everytime he has to move or something.

God I wish Sakura was like that, or maybe she could just be hot. That would be great.

Oh look, a white haired man. Hope he is faster than these people.

Oh great, Naruto is following us. I like Naruto, he gives me someone to look down at everyday. Hes like.. My favorite teammate, not that there is all that many to choose from.

I mean it's just him and Sakura.

And now he is attacking us, what the hell.. Okay this is just way to slow, I'll jump out of the box and start moving myself. Okay I'll head for the forest and try hide.

Maybe I should go back a little and help Shika kill that flute chick. Hmm yea.

Almost there.. Jesus what a wind, I could prolly try cut it.

Oh there I can see him. What? Where did she come from? She's kinda hot, seriously I just love Temari. If I'm going to resurrect the clan, I'm going to need her. Hm I need a closer look.

Jesus can't Shika stop flirting with her already? Everyone knows hes really into Ino or was it Shino? Yeye.

"Sharingan"

Ah well didn't help much, I wish it had a zoom function. Wonder if anyone wants to sell their Byakugan.. I'll write to Neji and Hinata about it later I guess, haha.

Maybe I could sneak closer. I'm almost like that perverted hermit, Jiraya. Woho this is fun.

Bah I better get moving, I wouldn't want to hang out here so Naruto, the loudmouthed leprechaun would catch up to me.

Hm though I like the idea of the powers Oro promised me, I'd rather be home with a bowl of ramen right now. Hm maybe I should just beat Naruto up and then go get some food.

Oro can wait, hes just a serpent of some kind. Hm ramen or pancakes? I like pancakes with smiling faces made of sugar on. They kinda rock. Pancakes it is, hurray.

Oh there he is, Naruto.

Wow I'll just tell him a lot of emocrap and see if he goes away.

Oookay that didn't work. Now I have to fight him, great. He got so much stamina, this will take forever.

Two hours later.. Finally I got him unconscious, Jesus I'm almost a little sweaty. He even made a scratch mark on my forehead protector.

Okay it's broken now, no use in having it.

"Bye dobe." I smirked, finally I can go get myself some nice pancakes.

I better get going then. Hm Thiyukis place sounds good. That's just couple miles into The Water Country.

Yay finally I'm here, just me and my pancakes.. Mmmhmm..

"Yooo broooo!" I turned and looked into my brother's face.

"Lo babe", I said while trying to chew my pancake. In my earlier years, I wanted to kill Itachi, haha. For killing my parents, I can't believe I actually fell for that joke.

He and Kisame had set me up, our family was really living at a feudal lord's place, somewhere in The Wave Country.

"So what's up?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"Not much dobe."

"Ah so the rumors I heard about you going to join Orochimaru was all fake?"

"Nah"

"Ah, why do you want to join that geek?"

"I don't, he talked about a hidden technique that I want to steal and, I'm going to make him take back this crappy cursed seal.

I'm so going to kick his ass after I get this crap of my shoulder, I'll beat the crap out of him."

"Sooo.. Why are you here then?"

"Well.. I wanted pancakes."

"The mighty Uchiha Sasuke! Protector of the holy secret jutsu pancakes!!!!"

"Screw you."

"I would, but it's rather troubled to screw myself" Itachi smirked.

"So what are you doing here Itachi?"

"I'm here to pick up my new cool Akatsuki slippers! They got my name on them, wee! Look, look I-t-a-c-h-i! That's like.. Me. Hurray!"

"Yea, I noticed."

"So want me to come with you to visit that serpent?"

"Yea sure bro, lets get moving just going to post this letter for Tsunade first."

"Uhh nasty little boy, sending private letters to the hokage? I'm shocked kiddo."

"I don't, it just says that Sakura is a dork, Naruto are annoying, that I'm taking couple years off. And I'm sending a souvenir for Kakashi"

"Souvenir? Are you gay and dating Kakashi or something?"

Nah, I'm going to send him the newest copy of that perverted series he reads. We have a greate arangement, I would send him his book, and he sent Sakura on a trip to The Water Country for two weeks".

"Ah I see, a bargain for someone like you".

"Sure was."

"So lets get moving?" I asked Itachi.

"Yea. Soo you gotten your Mangekyo Sharingan up yet by the way?" He asked with a teasing look.

"Yea, I found out that I've had it since I was five." I smirked.

"Really?"

"Yea, I killed our bunny when we were five." I smirked.

"WHAT THE HELL? You killed Cookies?? TRAITOR!" Itachi yelled.

"I didn't mean to kill him you jerk."

"Poor Cookies" He sniffed

Some hours later we were at Oro's place.

"Ah finally.. Now where is that serpent and that nurse girl/guy, I never really made up my mind if Kabuto is a girl or a boy. What do you think Itachi?"

"Uhm I don't know, haven't met him/her yet."

As we entered the house, and walked into the living room. We could see Kabuto and Oro playing twister.

"Heeey Oro, take back this crap seal would you?" I said.

"Why would I Sasuke?" You are my cute little boy now, and I may bug you forever!"

"Geez, that's really sad ey Sasuke?" Itachi laughed.

"Yea sort of." I laughed too.

"So you better get used to it boy, you are staying right here with me and Kabuto!" Oro smiled.

"Oookay then I'll just beat the crap out of you, until you remove it" I smiled back.

Oro looked at me, he started to look a little nervous.

"No Sasuke, don't get all angry here, there are better ways of doing it." Itachi said in a tune that reminded me of our mom.

Oro looked relived.

"Like this.." Mt brother smirked.

He ran forwards, and banged Oro's face into the table while yelling "Remove the fucking seal you fucking serpent, before I make nice new dragqueen boots for Kisame by skinning your stinky ass".

Itachi smiled, I could see he was enjoying himself. Looked kinda funny.

And Oro removed the seal, faster than you could have said fishpins.

As we walked out of the door Itachi said out loud; "Hm, I agree its REALLY hard to figure if Kabuto is a dude or a gal".

"I can still hear you! I'm a guy for God's sake!" Kabuto yelled.

"I know you can still hear me girly." My brother turned his head over his shoulder while walking towards the door, while smirking at Kabuto with his sharingan activated.

"Hehiheh Nevermind ...!" Kabuto stotred, while shaking from fear.

As we exited the house Itachi said: "You still owe me a bunny kiddo" --

"Would you just let it go already?" I sighed.

"Fuck no" Itachi answered.


	2. Genjutsu and dating

So after our visit at Oro's house we decided to go to Itachi's place.

"Soo Sasuke, seen any hot chicks lately? Or guys maybe in your case, muhahaha"

"Even though you like guys, it doesn't automatically make me gay you know Itachi." I smirked. I knew that my brother wasn't gay; it was just so much fun for me to accuse him of having a special relationship with Kisame.

"Gaah… how many times must I tell you that I'm got gay! Just answer the question before I fry you kiddo".

Okay, now he just sounds annoyed, better just leave it.. For a while. "Hm yea, Temari. She's like "Wow", and then you start to drool.

"Uh-uh, that sand nin? She sure is smoking."

"Yea, you found anyone else than Kisame yet?" I smirked.

Itachi sent me a fiery look, "Jesus Sasuke, how many times do I need to tell you that we are not gay!"

"Dunno, a couple more at least."

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAh"

"YEAh!"

"Uhm you agreeing with me Ita?"

"Oh no, just got carried away with the "yeah's", yeah yeah yeah! It's kinda funny to say yeah, haha."

"Baka.."

"Watch it kiddo before I use Mangekyo Sharingan on you"

"Yeah right. You don't have the balls for it, because I'm you sweet little brother." I made a cute deer-looking expression at him.

Before I knew it, I was trapped in my brother's jutsu.

"Whahaha, you can't hurt me brother!" I smirked.

After a while...

"Okay now I've been hanging here for like 30 minutes of the jutsu. Geez get moving.."

Then I heard footsteps, light ones, as if Itachi had lost half of his weight or something.

"Itachi..?"

Then I saw it, I froze in fear.

It was Sakura, Itachi had taken form as Sakura in this genjutsu. This was bad.

"Hey Sasuke hiehieehiee, want a huuug?"

My eyes were wide, and filled with fear.

EEEK Sakura is hugging me, eek eek ew ew.

I thought I where going to cry.

Then Sakura asked, or Itachi or whatever, the genjutsu asked;

"Sasuke do you want to see something really private?" She blinked.

"NO ITACHI, NOOOO!! I will kill you for this!! Jesus let me go! Stop it, I will do whatever you ask me to!

I will treat you like a God, please please!"

Oh my God, she grabbed the zipper on her shirt. She's pulling it oh-oh!

"EEEK" Okay, now I where screaming like a girl.

And suddenly Sakura changed into Temari, who were laughing.

"Okay, what do you want Itachi?" I asked and sighed.

A voice from the floor said; "I want you to say you are sorry! You murderer!"

"Uhm what?"

"You KILLED Cookies!!"

"I'm so sorry Itachi! Just let me go already!"

Then Temari blew me a kiss, and changed form into Itachi. And the genjutsu, faded away.

"Gosh, don't ever do that again Itachi."

"Cmon! It was soo funny, you should have seen your look when Sakura appeared! That was priceless."

"Anyway, we are almost at my place now Sasu."

"Gaaah, don't call me Sasu! I'm not your boytoy, arrgh."

"Yeye, whatever Sasu."

"Argh don't call me that Ita-girly"

"Uhm Sasu, I want you to call me Sensei, okay?"

"Uhm NO?"

"Hm I wonder what Sakura will do this time.." Itachi smirked.

"Nevermind Sensei!"

"Okay Sasu." He grinned and knocked the door.

Kisame answered the door and let us in.

It sure was nice and tidy in there so I asked;

"Itachi, you sure you live here?"

"Yeah, how come? Didn't I tell you to call me sensei?"

"hmrrfm, but its so clean and tidy .. Gai-sensei."

"DON'T CALL ME GAI YOU BAKA!!" And he tried to jump on me, but ended up chasing me around the apartment instead.

"Oh my God! You said the G-word! Jesus! How could you in our apartment? That's worse than any prank than the Kyuubi kid have ever done!" Kisame cried out.

"Hiehieihie" I laughed while I ran around. I looked over my shoulder to see Itachi, and he was definitely trying to kill me.

"I'm going to kill you Sasuke!" Itachi yelled.

"Sexy no-jutsu!" I smirked and turned to Itachi.

"Oh really?" I said with a sweet girly voice.

Itachi stopped, and started to drool. I looked at Kisame, but he had already fainted.

I walked up to Itachi and said;

"Hi Itachi, you want to see something private?" Whahaha revenge was mine! I thought as Itachi fainted and bled noseblood.

Hmm greate, now I can search their fridge undisturbed.

Uhm what? The doorbell is ringing. Okay what do I do now, answere it?

"Hello!" A familiar voice yelled.

"Hi!" Oh my God, it's Shizune, what is she doing here?

"Oh it's you, Shizune. What are you doing here?"

She was wearing a very cute, short black dress and hairclips. Hmm I guess Sakura could use some of her advices on clothes, I thought with a smirk.

"I came to see Itachi, he promised to take me out for dinner for like the thousand time. And as usual he's not here? I swear this is the last time I bother coming here just t.."

"Oh he's here" I smiled.

"Really?" Shizune looked shocked.

"Yeah, or we where having some fun, and I made Kisame and Itachi faint."

"You did what? What were you guys doing?"

"uhmuhm"

Fuck, I don't feel like telling her that I used Naruto's childish trick... Okay I just got to make something up.

"We were arguing about what Itachi should wear on your date of course. Kisame said maybe jeans and a shit, I said that it didn't matter, mabye a black suit or something.

So don't really know how, but it ended up like this"

Okayokay, lets do the angelface. Wave lashes, smile and blink. Jackpot.

"Ooooh" she blushed.

"But I'm going to go wake him, wait a sec."

"Suuure", Shizune sat down at the sofa.

Okay, I have to drag Itachi to the closet, get the suit on him and try wake him before Shizune notices anything.

Oookay, black suit, black suit, yey found one. How the hell am I supposed to get this on him, he sure is heavy.. I'll tell him to cut down on the snacks as soon as I get him awake...

"Itachiiiii?" I said and poked him. Okay didn't work.

"ITACHI!!!" I yelled and hit him in the tummy.

".. Jesus Sasuke, fuck you!"

"Good morning Snowwhite, had an enjoyable nap?" I smiled innocently.

He glared as I said; "And by the way, you are REALLY heavy, you're almost fat hun".

"Baka, I'm going to crush you!"

"Heyhey, Shizune is downstairs waiting for you.."

"Really?" His eyes widened.

"Yea, I covered your back by the way, she don't know that you fainted like a kid.

"Hmf.. Thanks."

"What's the deal with her anyway?" I teased.

"You'd like to know wouldn't you?"

"I sure would."

"Well yea, but anyway.. In your DREAMS." He smiled and started walking downstairs.

"Itachi, wait! You must wear your suit, don't go down there in those clothes?"

"Shit, thanks again.. Bah taking advices from my little brother, that's sad."

"Yea, but I'm hot."

"Yea right, you and Naruto. I can see all the female nins in the world falling like flies! Ah right many of them already did... I'm still cooler, smarter, funnier, I'm prolly hotter too so burn aaand careface." Itachi gave me a wide huge smile.

"Pff, not."

"Pff, yeah."

"Not."

"Yeah."

"Why haven't you gone to your and Shizunes dates really? Not."

"Well Aka takes some time, and I've been unlucky. Anyway I don't know her very well yet anyway. Yea"

"Soo this is the first time then? Not!"

"Yeah, YEAH!"

"Ok, get going! Not"

"I'm going alright! Yes."

"Hi Itachi, are we ready to go now?" Shizune smiled.

"Yes, we sure are."

As they walked out the door and I was about to close it, I yelled "NOT!" and closed the door before he could do anything.

I could see him staring at me, angrily. Ah I like it there already, yey.


	3. Ramen and Sand

I would like to start this chapter by thanking my reviewers. It's really great you bothered, means a lot 3. Sooo thx Fatum, Phantom kitten, Itachi-sama15, Evelyn627.

Uhm I need a… Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Naruto, I only own those boots, my socks and my imaginative bunny Cookies.

Anyway, the new chapter gasp

"Ey Sasuke you prankster!"

"Soo finally awake huh Kisame? You sure fainted fast…"

"Pff, bugger off… Want to go out and eat some ramen?"

"Yea, sure. Let's just leave a note for Itachi here…"

While we walked I and Kisame did some "small talk", about the weather, food, Akatsuki and similar. And after a while we reached the restaurant, as we entered Kisame were telling me about the many types of exciting Ramen they had in the store, and I decided to let him recommend a type for me.

"Hey Sasuke, what's up?"

I turned around and saw Kankuro.

"Yo Kankuro! Long time no see, been busy?"

"Sure have been busy, always something to do in the sand village, I've gotten pretty tired so Temari suggested that I'd take a week off."

"Oh Temari and Gaara, how are they?"

"They are fine, you know what? Even Gaara is fine. He has finally started to open up to people, even if just a little, thanks to Naruto."

"That's great, hm Naruto always have such an influence on people, even on me sometimes… Weird guy."

"Sure is. I had to save Kiba from one of those Oro-freaks by the way."

"Oh?"

"Yea, they were all following you, to bring you back home. Naruto are always fussing about bringing you back to Konoha."

"I thought Tsunade would have explained everything to him and Sakura by now? And maybe to the other teams?"

"Well, they were on a mission to follow you, but I think they have all heard about your letter by now."

"Good."

"Naruto don't agree in the letter though, he still thinks you are in trouble and will probably try to bring you back."

"Baka… Thanks for the warning!"

"No problem haha, by the way your ramen is getting cold!"

"Oh I forgot! Jesus, thanks again"

Kankuro smirked and ordered himself a bowl of Ramen too.

"So where are you staying then?" Kankuro asked me.

"I'm staying at Itachi and Kisame's place" I said and pointed at Kisame and he smiled.

"Greetings I'm Kisame."

"Delighted to meet you Kisame." Kankuro answered.

And then he Kankuro whispered in my ear;

"Is that guy … a fish?" His eyes were wide and inquiring.

"Got no idea… Wouldn't surprise me though." I whispered back.

Then we sat down in silence with our ramen.

After fifteen minutes or so, Itachi came into the restaurant.

"Ey Sasuke! Kisame! Uhm guy with purple makeup in his face! Hello, I'm Itachi and you would be…? Don't tell me… And by the way since you wear all that makeup I guess you are one of those that wish that they were gir…"

I put my hand over his mouth, and said;

"Itachi, this is Kankuro, Temari and Gaara's brother…"

"Oh shit." He said and sent me an apologising look.

"Excuse me? Kankuro said.

"Nevermind, I just came home from a date, stilly a little fussy in my head… Heh sorry mate. Hm I just need some sake." Itachi said in an assuring way.

"So how was your date with Shizune, Itachi?"

"Well it was okay I guess, she's sweet."

"Sweet?" Kisame laughed. "That's one word for it…"

Itachi glared at Kisame.

"Never mind him… So Kankuro tell me something about yourself", Itachi smiled innocently.

What the fuck, sounded more like Itachi were hitting on Kankuro than acting normal.

"Uhm, I come from the Sand, I use dolls for fighting…"

"Oh you are from the Sand? I was there a while ago, it's kind of nice there, and I mean the food and everything."

"Oh so you like it, visitors usually thinks it's dry and warm. Well that's good."

"Yea, I liked it so much that I plan on going back there pretty soon. With Sasuke that is, right Sasuke?" Itachi said with a little smirk towards me.

"Uh… Yeah! Sorry I'm a little tired, wasn't listening too closely."

"Oh when are you going to come visit? You must come have dinner with us! Or maybe just stay with us. We got tons of room, so it won't be a problem." Kankuro said.

"Oh that's very kind of you, of course we will come! When do you have some spare time?" Itachi asked, innocently as usual.

"Well anytime is good, maybe in a couple days? I'm going back in two days time; you guys should tag along… Temari is all fussed about us going to improve the academy, and she wants to teach there. And she insists that I and Gaara will do so too. I guess it's true, it's the best way for Sand to gain more skilled ninjas." Kankuro smiled. "But now I think I will withdraw to my room, I need to get some sleep. So you will come here in two days, when night falls?" Kankuro yawned.

"Yes. We will see you then friend." Itachi said assuring him that we would be there.

"Oh my god, I really can't believe you Itachi. You got us invited to stay with them in the Sand village! Just after meeting him, you manipula…" I started.

"I got my ways." Itachi interrupted me, with an extremely huge smirk.

"No doubts there." I sighed. But really, in my head I was smiling. Great Itachi.

"Now there is only one problem…" Itachi yawned.

"And that would be…?" I questioned him.

"Anko will kill me for ditching our date."

"You going out with Anko AND Shizune?!"

"Well kind of and…"

"Itachi attracts females like a candle in the night attracts insects in the dark, you see Sasuke. And he always get persuaded into going out on a date with them." Kisame laughed.

"You see Itachi is like a really popular guy Sasuke, he like got 20 dates a month, I think he have been asked out by every hot chick in the whole water country soon but… He thinks they are all the same, and there is none of them who can really keep his interest. And they are always like…" Then Kisame put up a face I guess was supposed to be cute, as he said in his girly voice "Oh Itachi! I love you, your are sooo hot! I want to marry you and have your kids!" As he laughed he switched back to his original voice and said, "but he is careless! I don't understand him. Your brother sure is a mystery to me."

And out of the blue Itachi, turned to me and said; "I want a new bunny. You owe me one. And I know exactly what I'm going to name it."

A/N: Well I know this chapter was not all that funny, but I needed to write a chapter that would give them a reason to go to the Sand village. I promise next chapter will be more fun:O


	4. The search for a bunny

Bah, I hated this. There I was, Uchiha Sasuke of Konoha, in full nin equipment looking at bunnies in a pet shop. Uhm what was it Itachi said again…

Flashback;

"Sasuke, the bunny better be white with black spots. If not I will tell Sakura where you are, and she will hunt you down like an animal."

"Eh okay Itachi, whatever you say…"

"Sasuke, I am threatening you."

"Uh, scary Itachi!"

Itachi stared at me with hatred as he left the room.

End of flashback.

At this moment, the threat was starting to get a little more frightening. What if they didn't have the bunny Itachi wanted…? No I had to find it! The thought of Sakura sent icy chills down my back, so I started to look faster and more aggressive.

"Hii-ii" A low voice said behind me.

I turned around to see Hinata, sitting behind me.

"Huh Hinata?! What are you doing here of all places in the world?"

"We-ell… I need-ed to leave K-o-onoha for a while, you see Sasuke-kun…" She said silently while looking down.

"Why and how did you end up here?" Wow, this was getting really weird, meeting Hinata AND Kankuro here, of all places. How troublesome.

"I-I, Kankuro told me he was going here and said that I should go too, since I mentioned that I wanted to have a little vacation. I wanted to leave because, because Naruto… Sakura… Neji told me that Naruto like her and everything and I-I…" I could see her tears were starting to gather in her eyes. So she liked Naruto, probably the only one who liked him in this world, I mean in that way.

"You like him, don't you Hinata? Did you tell him that?"

"No!" She cried out, as the tears started to run down her cheeks. I felt really sorry for her, I mean really. I wiped away her tears as I said;

"But you know Hinata, it's just for a period, if you tell him, I'm sure that when it's over he'll be all over you." I smiled. Hope she doesn't tell the others about my non-emo behavior that would destroy my image, and people would start talking to me. Geez. But somehow I liked Hinata, not too noisy and actually useful in battle.

"You think?"

"Yep, I do."

"Thanks Sasuke."

"No problemo, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I promised Kiba to bring Akamaru some dog food, I'm just here to pick it up."

"Ah okay, you could help me look for a bunny?"

"Uh, what kind of bunny and what are you going to use it for?" She gave me a confused look.

"A white bunny with black spots."

"Ah right." She sounded as usual, but her face was saying; "what the fuck…"

"Hinata over here! I think I found one" I smirked.

"Uhm Sasuke, I thought you said black spots, those are red."

"Really?"

I picked it up and looked at it. Ah yea, the spots were red. Geez.

"I think I got one though." She smiled.

"Yey!" I walked with her to another cage. In the cage there was a white bunny with black spots. But there was only one problem. It also had red spots. But she looked so happy with her finding, bah I had to take it.

"Ah thanks Hintata, you won't tell anyone that I met you her will you?"

"Why not Sasuke-kun? Are you ashamed about us talking together?" She said, while she looked really sad.

"No that's not it! It's just that… Then Sakura will find out."

"Why don't you want her to know Sasuke? Ah you like her too? And she will get jealous, ah I get it."

"Fuck no!" I answered instantly. Oh God, me and my reflexes.

"Excuse me?" She turned towards me with her eyes widened to max.

"Uh nothing."

"Ah you do like her."

"No I didn't say that."

"Well you didn't say that you didn't like her either."

Ah how was I'm going to say this in a polite way…

"So you love her then Sasuke-kun?" That was when it just flipped for me.

"Love her? F-U-C-K N-O! She's an insane, cold annoying bitch! She's as useful as a half Kurenai in a ninja battle! And if you told her she'd come here and hunt me down like a defenseless animal!"

Ok now she looked like she was going to faint. Ok here it goes… Ok catch her on 3 so she doesn't hit the floor… 1… 2… 3… Wasn't she going to faint soon?

Suddenly I saw that Hinata was starting to laugh, she laughed so much that she had to get down on the floor just giggling like hell. What the hell? Hinata acting like, well Kiba or Naruto, laughing, and rolling on the floor. This was too much for me, so instead I fainted.

I fell forwards, heavily on top of the laughing Hinata. As I fell I of course brought along a couple hundred boxes of dog food. And Hinata stopped laughing and got red in her face. As the boxes fell on us, she fainted as well. So there we were, me on top of Hinata, both fainted with dog food all over us. Cheers to a great start to a great new friendship.

A while later I woke up but someone poking me in the side. I opened my eyes and looked into Hinatas pale eyes, while she was doing a confused expression. I got really confused and tried to remember how we ended up like this, while Hinata screamed from me opening my eyes. I sat up and tried to brush of some dog food. Hinata had put the boxes back in its place at least. Great, now I had a new wonderful scent for our meeting with Kankuro, I think it was something like dead rats, yummy. With my luck maybe it lasted until we got to their house, so Temari could smell it too. Geez.

We got up and I took the bunny and walked to the counter at the other side of the store. Hinata walked behind me while looking at her clothes every once in a while, she was still not able to decide if she should cry or break together in laugh. So all she did was sighing. As I walked to the counter I noticed that it was getting dark outside. Fuuck, I was going to be late for our meeting with Kankuro and I wouldn't have time to have a shower. I sighed, just my luck.

I didn't feel like ditching Hinata, and since we both were going to that hotel she tagged along.

We got there pretty fast, and when I entered the first thing I saw was Itachi waiting for me while tapping his foot, and Kankuro half asleep towards the wall. Hinata said bye and went to her room, as Itachi yelled "Where the hell have you been Sasuke?!"

"Out looking for the bunny of course."

"Ah well did you find it?"

"Kind of" I pulled the bunny out of the cage.

"Wait a minute this one got red spots too! I said black spots! I'm not happy Sasuke…"

"Well yes! But I like to think of it as blood spatter, like Cookies had when he died!"

"Ah yes, good thinking." He smiled happily. Phew he bought it, finally I could get some sleep… Ah bah we were leaving for Sand now, how could I forget.

"Ah my little bunny! I'm so happy now! I'm going to name you Pancake! Since you are like white-ish like a pancake with black burned spots! Uhm what are those red ones then?" Itachi looked confused out in the air. "Strawberry jam? Ah stupid me, it should be blood of course! Then I name you Bloody Pancake!" I sighed. Ok then it was proved. My brother IS an idiot.

"Itachi you brought any food? I'm hungry and skipped dinner to look for the silly bunny."

"1; Don't call Pancake silly, 2; I don't care" He said while smiling. Ok, did I say idiot? What I meant was evil brain-dead jerk.

Kankuro, who had awakened from Itachi's yelling walked up to me and said;

"Let's go then? ... What the hell is that smell? Do you smell like rats Sasuke?"

"Yea, dead ones I think."

"Okaay… Freaky."

"Tell me about it." I said as we left the hotel.


	5. Noodles sensei?

"Hum, hum. Why are you so silent Sasuke?" Itachi said with a teasing voice.

"Uhm what?" I yawned. We had been traveling for hours, and I was hungry and dead tired.

"Nothing, Noodles."

"What did you just call me?" I actually turned my face to Itachi, with amusement.

"Noodles." He smiled.

"What on earth gave you the inspiration to call me that?"

"Hm, I was just thinking, if you were my pet I'd call you Noodles."

"So that's what has been on your mind this entire trip?"

"Pretty much, after I thought about Bloody Pancake and stuff."

"Geez, I'm sorry I asked…"

"Don't be" Itachi smiled evilly.

"…", I sighed at my older brother. I really have to admit to myself, that I got no idea why people find Itachi to be intelligent, and even worse attractive. But then again, as his little brother… Ah well, I could see the Sand now. Only a couple km more and we would have reached our destination. Soon I could have a good night of sleep, or day, since the sun was rising.

* * *

Some later we had finally reached the Sand. While we walked through the village, Kankuro greeted pretty much everyone we met along the way, Itachi was ignoring all the looks the girls gave him, and I were yawning like mad. Finally we made it to Kankuro's house, and entered.

"Hi I'm back! Gaara! Temari! I brought some guests!"

"Kankuro! You had an enjoyable weekend? Who did you bring?" Temari yelled from upstairs.

"Very, I feel so much more energetic now! I brought Uchiha Itachi and Sasuke!" He yelled back as Temari came down the stairs. She was wearing a black skirt, a white shirt, a black west, a pair of black gloves, the usual fishnet and her hair were gathered in a pigtail. She was not wearing any Nin equipment at all.

"Welcome, let me show you to our guestrooms." Temari smiled. As she saw mine and Itachi's questioning looks she added; "Some of the kids I teach spilled some tea all over my Nin equipment! So don't look at me like I've turned into a civilian! Come; let's go find your rooms."

"So you teach at the academy? I think Kankuro mentioned it a while back…"

"Ah yes I do, I think it's the best way for this village to gain more skilled shinobi." She smiled.

"Ah, I'm sure Sasuke would enjoy helping out in the academy during our stay. I got some business to look after while I'm here anyway." Itachi said to her without much enthusiasm in his voice.

"Oh really?" She smiled at me, and then she continued "Actually I could need some help in some of my classes… Especially one of them, some taijutsu…" She said directed to me, as I were fighting a blush I answered;

"Oh sure, I think I could help with some, though I'm not a taijutsu specialist like Lee." Come on, fight the blush, fight it, for God's sake, Uhiha's DON'T blush. I don't even know how to blush. Okay who am I kidding? Stop it weak body! Jesus!

"Great, but you are prefect for the job. Honestly, perfect. Much better than Lee for this situation…" Temari mumbled. As I sent her a short smirk I thought to myself; what the hell could she possibly be speaking of, there was no way I were a better taijutsu trainer than Lee was… Well whatever. I let my thoughts flow, and slowly lost focus at conversation.

"Okay this is it Itachi, she showed us into a big room with two big windows and a balcony. Inside there was one big bed with black silk sheets, a black sofa, a little wooden table, couple paintings on the wall, a bookcase and a fireplace.

"Eh, a fireplace in this village?" I questioned Temari.

"Yes, it get's pretty cold here at night". She looked out the window and at the streets below it.

"Ah right."

"Sasuke-kun, please come, your room is next door." I obediently followed her to the next room. It was about the same size as Itachi's but had three windows instead of two and no balcony. The bed in my room had light blue silk sheets, and the furniture was pretty much the same as Itachi's room, though most of the furniture in his room was black, mine was white and light blue.

"So" I said and put up a big smirk, leaning towards the wall.

"Soo… I'll show you were we keep the wood, but don't come running to me if you forget to lighten the fireplace, and you are freezing in the night." She said in a teasing tune.

"Arigato." I said and I raised an eyebrow.

"No problems… Noodles." She smirked. What the hell…? Oh my God, I was going to kill Itachi! Did they talk about that while I let my thoughts wander away from the conversation?

Anyway, I'd come up with some smug comment to return the favor later, at the moment I felt like killing Itachi. And sleeping. Well it was really a hard choice, both sounded equally fun. But sleep was something I needed; killing Itachi was something I wanted. So after Temari had shown me the stacks of wood, I went back upstairs to get couple hours of sleep. I got into bed and started sleeping. My thoughts started to wander off, until I was asleep and dreaming.

* * *

I was walking at a beach, with Temari. We were talking about many different things like the differences between the Konoha academy and the Sand's. But then the sun suddenly went down, and the skies started to turn darker... And then there was thunder and lightning. The sea made incredibly large waves and they hit us so we got all wet. Though our clothes was dripping wet, it was very refreshing so we kept on laughing and running but then… I did it.

I stepped on something! I stopped and so did Temari with a confused look, we looked down at my feet. Underneath it, there was one familiar creature. Itachi's bunny! It was Bloody Pancake, but I had killed it. At the same moment, the world around us became a genjutsu.

"Mangekyou Sharingan!" Shit not only had I killed the bunny, but Itachi had seen it.

"You killed Bloody Pancake!!" Itachi yelled. Shitshitshit. Then he turned around and said;

"Then I have no choice Sasuke…" What was he planning on doing now?

"Go… Sakura!" Itachi chuckled evilly, like some witch.

Oh my God. There she was. The one thing I hated most in the world.

"Sasu-kun! I have come to retrieve you!" Sakura yelled. "The she saw Temari, and she gained a murderous scent.

"You! What are you doing here with MY Sasuke?!" Sakura jumped at her and was about to kill her, but Temari dodged. But she had not brought her Nin equipment to the beach.

I just had to save Temari! I jumped at Sakura while knowing it would probably hurt like censored. I pulled out a kunai. And put it under her chin. Ey wait a second, I didn't bring any Nin equipment either… But I forgot all about the missing explanation when Sakura tried to… The scary bitch tried to kiss me! I yelled, and then I woke up from someone else's yell.

I opened my eyes and beneath me, Temari were lying, while I held a Kunai under her chin.

"What the hell…?" I said. And took away the kunai.

"You were yelling in your sleep, so I went in to see what was happening…" Temari mumbled, as he voice was still shaking.

"Ah yes."

"What happened in the dream?" She said with wide eyes.

"Well I was…" I started as I rolled of her. I couldn't really tell her I dreamt of her too so…

"On a beach, and then Itachi sent her at me, and she tried to… She tied to kiss me!" I could feel a vomiting coming my way.

"Who?" Temari glared at me.

"Haruno Sakura."

"Aoutshj." Temari replied, and continued, "if I were to ever be kissed by a girl, she'd be the last choice on this earth".

"Agreed!"

"Anyway, I also wondered if you wanted to come to the academy with me now…?"

"Sure. I'll just get changed."

I started to pull my shirt over my head, and turned to her and said;

"That would mean you should probably exit the room". I smirked.

"Ah yes!" A pretty red Temari jumped out of the room, at max speed.

Yey, favor returned. I slipped into couple black shorts, and a black t-shirt with the Uchiha clan symbol.

* * *

Like half an hour later, I and Temari entered the school.

This way for the taijutsu class, Sasuke. As we entered the door, the class suddenly went silent.

Sasuke found himself face to face with a clean female class. Which were giggling, and whispering things to each other while looking at me. Okay I could see where this was going.

And then Temari walked up to the blackboard, giving me a look that told me to follow.

"Okay, today we are going to go repeat some basic taijutsu at the blackboard, and afterwards we go to the training grounds to test out your skills.

One of the girls raised her hand.

"Yes?" Temari questioned her.

"Who is your friend Sensei?"

"Ah this is Uchiha Sasuke everyone."

"Greetings." I said as I did a polite gesture at the class, as a reply I got lots of "awwwws".

Temari told me to show them some of the taijutsus, while she drew them at the blackboard.

So after some taijutsu on the blackboard, we made our way to the training grounds.

Temari smirked. And said to me;

"You know what? This class has never been more focused on taijutsu, than they've been today." She smirked.

"Oh?"

"Yep, I think they found it much more interesting to watch today."

As the class started to work on their taijutsu, Temari said with a high and stern voice;

"If there is anything you need help with, we're here to help."

"Eh Sasuke-sensei, could you please show me…" one of the girls started only to get interrupted from all the others, starting to say something similar. After the class I was pumped. And when Temari dismissed them, all of them came up to me, and said bye and thanks for the help. And then they ran off.

"Arigato Sasuke." Temari smirked.

"What?" I looked at her.

"For letting me use your appearance to create a more effective class…" She smirked even wider, if it was possible.

"Yea, I noticed." I replied and made a grimace at her.

"So now you got at least twenty fan girls in Sand too."

"Ah geez, don't even mention it."

"Haha can't promise anything…" Temari said with an angelic face. Before she finished the sentence; "Noodles-sensei!" As she made a grimace back at Sasuke.

"You baka!"

As she started running, she yelled; "No you baka, Uchiha Noodles-sensei!" And threw couple small rocks at me.

Oh geez she was going to yell it so all of the town could hear it. I had to stop her so I ran after her.

"Get back here!" I started chasing her.

* * *

Uhm yey my longest chaper this far, but also the latest :s Colud need some more reviews for inspirationO,o /beg.

Uhm atleast it's up yey. Btw my beta'r r like on wakation soo ; Lots of terrible spelling I guess lol...

**Maja**


	6. Itachi, not so stupid after all?

Greetings! Sorry for this late update, but have been busy I guess. Everytime I see a pic of Sasuke, he is like staring at me and blaming me for not writing more often. So… My only excuse is that I tried stuffing my head with lots o'useless chemistry, math, biology… Whatever. I merely remember what was happening in this text, so. Going to be fairly interesting for me aswell. And please remember I only write this because I think it's ridiculous, and it's dead funny when my cousin reads my story out loud, she makes the voices nd everything :D

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* * *

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**Itachi – Not so stupid after all?**

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Itachi smiled to my face while leaning over my bed, with a familiar grin.

"What? Ah I got the worst headache..." I almost spit out, it was really early, and not even the sun had bothered to get up yet. Hm, somewhat flashback from yesterday; I and Temari had reached the house, her first and me after, both running of course. And as we ran in we almost tripped Gaara over a chair. He stared at us with murderous intent, so we stopped running at once. And I actually found it kind of funny when he opened his mouth and said;

"NO running in THIS house, I just used a cleaning-water jutsu!" Seriously, it was so... Well not what I had expected from him. Gaara sounded like some civilian woman, except from the part with the jutsu of course. Damn, maybe I should find a somewhat more silent person to hang out with? I think Hinata would have more a more appropriate sound level for my taste, Temari is almost as loud as Naruto. Ah my, my I wonder what Naruto have been up to the last weeks. I could see Temari holding back a giggle, and I just nodded, like some academy rookie. As we entered the living room, I could see Itachi sitting there, reading some scroll. It looked rather important so I asked him about what it contained.

"It's from Kisame." He answered.

"And? What's in it?"

"It's from Kisame."

"Yes you already said that, but what is in it!" And then he stared at me like I were some alien and said;

"It's from Kisame." And looked back to the paper, ignoring my oblivious looks.

So I walked up next to him and looked over his shoulder. And then he turned around so that I could not read. I sighed, and tried again, but he kept at it.

"Seriously tell me what this is about Itachi."

"I don't know. Do I look like I know? I don't know how to read, I'm just a sleepy nin looking at some papers, go to sleep Noodles."

"You don't know how to read? What the hell… First in the class and you don't know how to read? What the..."

"Yes. That is exactly what I am saying. Akatsuki is my study support group Noodles." Itachi smiled.

"Okey whatever…" I looked at Gaara, who looked like he was going to choke in confuse. But he probably wasn't, I don't think he knows what it is to be confused really.

So I started walking to my room, it was getting dark outside, and at that point I could really use some sleep.

"The way you talk to your brother is ridiculous Itachi-san. I am sure you know how to read, a skilled ninja like yourself" Gaara said while screwing up his face.

"No. I can't." Itachi said directed at Gaara before yelling out to me "Hey Sasuke, Kisame told me that he have heard some rumors about Konoha ninjas passing through the area we live in. A certain pink haired chick, a dog guy, a chick with white shiny eyes and that noisy kid. And they went heading towards sand. That is where we are, can you believe that?" Itachi said while smiling. "How weird. And the leader of Akatsuki just sent the word about an unscheduled meeting in a couple of days."

"Ehm so that you said about you not being able to read was just to piss me off or annoy me?"

"Oh my God! I read the letter... It's a miracle, I know how to read!" Itachi smiled, while picking up his cup of sake and taking in a sip. While Gaara were looking from me, to Itachi, and back again several times.

"Sigh..." I said while walking towards my room once again.

"And Sasuke, we got some business to attend to! I'll tell you when it's time."

"Whatever Itachi..." I mumbled while stumbling to my bed. I had a hard time falling into sleep; I didn't manage sleeping until the whole house was silent.

Back to the current events.

"It's like three hours since you went to bed now. And I know, I and Gaara were making so much sound that you shouldn't really have gotten much sleep Sasuke." He smiled innocently at me.

"No kidding." I answered with a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"So anyway now it's the time."

"For what?" I tried to look at him but still my vision was kind of blurry.

"Our business of course!"

"Now? In the middle of the night? Why did you let me go sleep then, if we were going out in only a little while?!"

"Yep. I like it that way. And if I didn't, I wouldn't get to look at that fresh and excited look on your face" Itachi said, I swear could see his mouth shaking, like he was at the edge of a cliff, almost falling down into eternal laughter.

"Ookay…" I dragged myself out of the bed, and found some clothing, pulled it on while stumbling downstairs. As we left the house, I continued;

"Did we really have to go there in the middle in of the night?"

"Neh, but I want to."

"You want to?" My voice became even more filled with sarcasm.

"Yep."

"What do you need me for anyway?"

"Nothing really, but I'd like you to keep me company. And the Akatsuki would like meet you, so I'm taking you to the meeting."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. Or at least I want you to meet them; they are important people you know."

"Wow Itachi you sound almost normal."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do?"

"No Noodlish, you don't understand."

"Understand what Ita.. " I didn't manage to finish my sentence, as a kunai came flying out of nowhere; almost hitting me in the arm. It would have hit me if it wasn't for Itachi pushing me to the left. Before I had even realized what was happening I could see Itachis sharingan spinning around. I activated mine aswell to see what was happening, and if there was any jutsus coming our way. I couldn't see anything, nothing. Not even some critter running around.

"Itachi I don't see anything, or hear for that matter." I said with a rather low voice. Itachi just kept staring into the dark for a little while.

"Hm, I kind of want to follow them, been a while since I seen some blood but, sigh if we start having some fun here, we would be late for the meeting." Itachi wined.

"Fun? You think ninja battle is fun?" I looked at him.

"Some of them are, seriously some old ninjas throwing kunais and using shadow clones, that's fun. But then again we don't know what we are facing now are we?"

"No, I don't atleast."

"So then let's get to the meeting shall we?"

As we got to the meeting, the only person there was Kisame.

"Itachi, Sasuke, welcome." Kisame said to us.

We sat down as some members came out from the shadows. They all greeted us and told me their names. This far there was; Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Zetsu, and Kisame, who was present.

They all greeted us, and introduced themselves to me. Deidara kind of reminded me of a girl, at some points. Well, don't really know what to say about Hidan, he wasn't really interesting and Zetsu looked like some kind of bush… And Sasori? What the hell is he? Some kind of gene manipulated dwarf?

* * *

To be continued OoO It's kinda weird, I made this like months ago but I still haven't managed to get it out :/ But it's going out right now wee. And the reason for that is that I noticed I had gotten a review from itachi-sama15, so if I could dedicate this to anyone it's you.

Maja


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